心情很糟糕，很乱，很烦，很怕。时间是早上0452hrs。睡不着。这几个礼拜里都没有"一觉到天亮"。睡了一两个小时就醒了。想找个人讲话，却不知道要找谁。想哭又哭不出。感到非常无助。
再多一个月就要考试了。有恐惧感。担心。该怎么办? 为什么要到这世界来? 我为我的将来而感到担心。今年23岁的我为什么会为这么多事情而烦恼? 23岁是年轻还是老? 我命中的太阳刚升起来还是在下降了呢?
我这个人什么都不会，什么都没有。想拼，也不知道从哪开始。像个迷了路的小孩。希望有个某某人或某某事能激发我，扶我一把，指导我。
心情沉重。。。
Monday, October 01, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
消失的26天
Just felt like entering something today. Being procrastinating for a long time. September is coming to and end. 5 more weeks to the finals. Semester 2 seems to fly faster than sem 1.
Currently, I'm having a 1 week break. What I'd done up till now was soccer on saturday. Played soccer and watched soccer. Hyundai A-league. Queensland Roar VS Sydney FC. Final score, 1-0 to Sydney. Only "star player" available was Danny Taitto, who used to play for Manchester City and Leicester City in the English Premier League before coming over. Actually, I was there to look at Juninho. Yes. The brazilian who used to play for Middlesbrough. But, he wasn't there. Wasted my money... $24.
Wanted to go out and have a walk, breathe some air, but 有心无力。Stay at home and rot. Maybe I'll go out tomorrow... maybe...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was once when I was tossing around on the bed when this thought came across.
"How will I be remembered when I die" and even "Will I be remembered". I really don't know, but is it important? 生不带来，死不带去。
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The fire in me had extinguished. I'm not interested in anything. Everything is in a mess. No time frame. I'm tired. Outside to inside. Top to bottom. Need something/someone to ignite it again. Help me find back the fire.
Currently, I'm having a 1 week break. What I'd done up till now was soccer on saturday. Played soccer and watched soccer. Hyundai A-league. Queensland Roar VS Sydney FC. Final score, 1-0 to Sydney. Only "star player" available was Danny Taitto, who used to play for Manchester City and Leicester City in the English Premier League before coming over. Actually, I was there to look at Juninho. Yes. The brazilian who used to play for Middlesbrough. But, he wasn't there. Wasted my money... $24.
Wanted to go out and have a walk, breathe some air, but 有心无力。Stay at home and rot. Maybe I'll go out tomorrow... maybe...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was once when I was tossing around on the bed when this thought came across.
"How will I be remembered when I die" and even "Will I be remembered". I really don't know, but is it important? 生不带来，死不带去。
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The fire in me had extinguished. I'm not interested in anything. Everything is in a mess. No time frame. I'm tired. Outside to inside. Top to bottom. Need something/someone to ignite it again. Help me find back the fire.
Friday, August 31, 2007
张震岳 - 思念是一种病
当你在穿山越领的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
一辈子有多少的来不及
发现 已经 失去 最重要的东西
然大悟 早已远去
为何总是在犯错之后
才肯相信 错的是自己
他们说这就是人生 试着体会
试着忍住眼泪 还是躲不开应该有的情绪
我不会奢求世界停止转动
我知道逃避一点都没有用
只是这段时间里 尤其在夜里
还是会想起 难忘的事情
我想我的思念是一种病
久久不能痊愈
当你在穿山越领的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息
汲汲营营 忘记身边的人需要爱的关心
借口总是拉远了距离 不知不觉 无声无息
我们总是在抱怨事与愿违 却不愿意回头看看自己
想想自己 到底做了甚么蠢事情
也许是上帝给我一个试炼
只是这伤口需要花点时间
只是会想念 过去的一切
那些人事物 会离我远去
而我们终究也会远离 变成回忆
当你在穿山越领的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息
Oh 思念是一种病
多久没有说我爱你?
多久没有拥抱你所爱的人?
当这个世界不在那么美好
只有爱可以让他更好
我相信一切都来得及
别管那些纷纷扰扰
别让不开心的事 停下了脚步
就怕你不说 就怕你不做
别让遗憾继续 一切都来得及
当你在穿山越领的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息 X 2
Oh 思念是一种病
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
一辈子有多少的来不及
发现 已经 失去 最重要的东西
然大悟 早已远去
为何总是在犯错之后
才肯相信 错的是自己
他们说这就是人生 试着体会
试着忍住眼泪 还是躲不开应该有的情绪
我不会奢求世界停止转动
我知道逃避一点都没有用
只是这段时间里 尤其在夜里
还是会想起 难忘的事情
我想我的思念是一种病
久久不能痊愈
当你在穿山越领的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息
汲汲营营 忘记身边的人需要爱的关心
借口总是拉远了距离 不知不觉 无声无息
我们总是在抱怨事与愿违 却不愿意回头看看自己
想想自己 到底做了甚么蠢事情
也许是上帝给我一个试炼
只是这伤口需要花点时间
只是会想念 过去的一切
那些人事物 会离我远去
而我们终究也会远离 变成回忆
当你在穿山越领的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息
Oh 思念是一种病
多久没有说我爱你?
多久没有拥抱你所爱的人?
当这个世界不在那么美好
只有爱可以让他更好
我相信一切都来得及
别管那些纷纷扰扰
别让不开心的事 停下了脚步
就怕你不说 就怕你不做
别让遗憾继续 一切都来得及
当你在穿山越领的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息 X 2
Oh 思念是一种病
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Thoughts... 感想
Lectures
During lectures, I prefer to sit alone. Reason is that I'm there to listen to the lecture. As a result, I think it does lead to the impression that I'm unfriendly, anti-social, etc, etc. Am I a loner? Maybe? I'm used to being alone. Doing things alone. I think I can survive being alone. It bothers me when I'm concentrating on what the lecturer is trying to say, and someone besides me keeps talking to me. It'll be impolite to not respond, but on the other hand, I am trying to receive data. Packets are lost, resulting in a lost of data.
I really couldn't understand why people attend lectures to chat. Do your chatting after the lecture D*** it. Show the lecturer some basic respect. It ain't easy standing there trying to lecture for an hour or so. God gave us 2 ears, 2 eyes and 1 mouth for a reason you know?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
朋友
"朋友是互相利用的"。这句话我觉得很有道理。不要问我从哪里听来的。人与人之间是互相的。你帮我，我帮你。可是很奇怪的是，有些人就是"你帮我"后， 就说声谢谢就不再见了。
I believe in giving more than I take. If you take from me, I'll give as long as it is within my capability.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Civilization = Civilized People, Society?
Civilization - an advanced state of human society, in which a high level of culture, science, industry, and government has been reached.
Civilized - to bring out of a savage, uneducated, or rude state; make civil; elevate in social and private life; enlighten; refine
How does these 2 words relate to our current society? I believe the number of educated is rising, but it doesn't seems like it is proportional to being a civilized being. Shouldn't education make us a better person? Maybe too much education is bad? Or something is wrong with the education system. Or is it just human nature? The genes?
Really hope that somehow, someday, someone will rid this world of vulgarities, anger, back-stabbing, etc, etc... But this day will never happen.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3rd Semester in Aussieland
Time really flew. I'm in my 3rd semester here. 1 year does make a difference. There seems to be a sudden influx of asian in brisbane, especially this semester. Good thing is that I see more yellow, brown instead of white. Bad thing is unfortunately, they brought in the bad habits, cultures into the place. Eg, I no longer see people queuing up to board the bus, which i experienced when I first came here. Its rather unfortunate to see this happening. Heard a lot of Singlish too! Complaining about this and that, and as if trying to bring in the Singapore culture. But what they don't know is that they are in a foreign land. Being "guests", don't try to behave as if you are the hosts. "In Rome, do as the Romans". Sometimes I really feel disgusted and ashamed to be Singaporean. I'm trying my best to fly the flag high.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently
I'm lost in my own little world. I don't keep track of time, like which week am I in. I don't really recall what i'd said. Don't know what is happening. Memory-loss? Seems like I'd lost something in me. Need to find it back real quick.
During lectures, I prefer to sit alone. Reason is that I'm there to listen to the lecture. As a result, I think it does lead to the impression that I'm unfriendly, anti-social, etc, etc. Am I a loner? Maybe? I'm used to being alone. Doing things alone. I think I can survive being alone. It bothers me when I'm concentrating on what the lecturer is trying to say, and someone besides me keeps talking to me. It'll be impolite to not respond, but on the other hand, I am trying to receive data. Packets are lost, resulting in a lost of data.
I really couldn't understand why people attend lectures to chat. Do your chatting after the lecture D*** it. Show the lecturer some basic respect. It ain't easy standing there trying to lecture for an hour or so. God gave us 2 ears, 2 eyes and 1 mouth for a reason you know?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
朋友
"朋友是互相利用的"。这句话我觉得很有道理。不要问我从哪里听来的。人与人之间是互相的。你帮我，我帮你。可是很奇怪的是，有些人就是"你帮我"后， 就说声谢谢就不再见了。
I believe in giving more than I take. If you take from me, I'll give as long as it is within my capability.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Civilization = Civilized People, Society?
Civilization - an advanced state of human society, in which a high level of culture, science, industry, and government has been reached.
Civilized - to bring out of a savage, uneducated, or rude state; make civil; elevate in social and private life; enlighten; refine
How does these 2 words relate to our current society? I believe the number of educated is rising, but it doesn't seems like it is proportional to being a civilized being. Shouldn't education make us a better person? Maybe too much education is bad? Or something is wrong with the education system. Or is it just human nature? The genes?
Really hope that somehow, someday, someone will rid this world of vulgarities, anger, back-stabbing, etc, etc... But this day will never happen.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3rd Semester in Aussieland
Time really flew. I'm in my 3rd semester here. 1 year does make a difference. There seems to be a sudden influx of asian in brisbane, especially this semester. Good thing is that I see more yellow, brown instead of white. Bad thing is unfortunately, they brought in the bad habits, cultures into the place. Eg, I no longer see people queuing up to board the bus, which i experienced when I first came here. Its rather unfortunate to see this happening. Heard a lot of Singlish too! Complaining about this and that, and as if trying to bring in the Singapore culture. But what they don't know is that they are in a foreign land. Being "guests", don't try to behave as if you are the hosts. "In Rome, do as the Romans". Sometimes I really feel disgusted and ashamed to be Singaporean. I'm trying my best to fly the flag high.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently
I'm lost in my own little world. I don't keep track of time, like which week am I in. I don't really recall what i'd said. Don't know what is happening. Memory-loss? Seems like I'd lost something in me. Need to find it back real quick.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
7 deadly sins
| Greed: | Low | |
| Gluttony: | Medium | |
| Wrath: | Low | |
| Sloth: | Medium | |
| Envy: | Very Low | |
| Lust: | Low | |
| Pride: | Medium |
Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz
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