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I REFER to the report on graciousness in Singapore. .
We have no details of how the survey was conducted. Therefore, I assume the survey was done via a random “off-the-street” method which is highly unrepresentative. Personally, I have doubts over the validity of the results. I always think a good survey needs a focus group or groups with a wide range of “people in the know” compared to picking someone on the street without knowing the person’s background and profile. .
Singaporeans in general are far from gracious. People here focus on themselves and do not think too much about the people around them. There is a mentality that “I have the right to do what I want as long as I do not break the law or hurt someone”. The focus on the right to express ourselves takes priority over everything else. .
This is clearly exhibited by the way we behave in places like on MRT trains, where people talk on their mobile phones loud enough for others to be disturbed, or hug and kiss each other right in front of you. .
I believe Singaporeans have a lot to learn from the Japanese. Enter any train in Japan and you’ll see that no one talks on their mobile phones (which are always in silent mode), and if really necessary, they do it in hushed tones and keep their conversations short. I actually saw a Japanese colleague getting out of the train just to make a call; he hops onto the next train when he is done. .
Singaporeans, however, seem to engage in phone conversations over the most mundane topics and only stop chatting when the train is underground and they cannot receive a signal. .
I do not know if the Japanese are gracious in a private setting. However, I admire the effort they put in to appear gracious in a public setting. I am sure this takes years of self-discipline to accomplish, such that it becomes almost second nature to them. .
Many Singaporeans love to travel. But most Singaporeans travel in groups — either with their family or friends. In such situations, there is very little interaction with the local culture. A lot of time is spent together and people tend to exhibit to normal Singaporean behaviour. .
Those who travel alone on business and work assignments are quick to notice the big gap in graciousness. .
I can see all the characteristics of bad Singaporean behaviour in myself and admit I have ungracious occasionally. However, I constantly work toward improving my behaviour. .
I think it is worth learning such values because graciousness will make Singapore a nicer place to live in.
http://www.todayonline.com/articles/307465.asp
IT IS interesting that 90 per cent of Singa-poreans feel that Singapore is a rather gracious society (“Gracious, really?”, March 12), according to the recent survey by the Singapore Kindness Movement (SKM). .
However, with the survey’s sample size of 502 out of the more than 4.5 million people living in Singapore, the finding may not be a true reflection of the views held by the rest of the population. There may also be biasness in the way the survey was conducted because it wasn’t tested in real-life situations. .
In 2006, Reader’s Digest conducted a Global Courtesy survey and the findings stood in contrast to the SKM survey. .
They sent undercover reporters posing real-life situations to see how people in 36 cities responded and Singapore came in 31st. Residents of New York and Switzerland took the top spots as being the most polite. .
Nine out of 10 Singaporeans may think that the society has sufficient grace, but do they really? If this is so, why the endless public outcry and discontent over the culture of reserving seats, the loud slurping of noodles like a vacuum machine, the appalling road ethics of drivers, the slamming of doors into people’s faces or the mad rush to swipe cards at the train station? .
Of course there are many polite people in Singapore, like the lady who served me at an NTUC supermarket last weekend. She was so concerned that I had a basketful of heavy items that she kept asking if I was going to be able to manage on my own; she even put my items in fewer bags so that it would be easier for me to carry the bags to the car. That is graciousness that I value. .
Sadly, most people I have spoken to say not a day passes by without encounters with a number of annoyingly rude people. Every society has ill-mannered people. However, Singapore may just have more than its fair share for just a small nation. .
We often find ourselves saying that we are caught in a rat race and therefore our rudeness is unintentional. Being in a hurry or living in a fast-paced society can never be an excuse for poor behaviour. .
I have learned through experience that good manners has little correlation with education, wealth, ethnicity, urbanisation or even age. It has to do with a person’s upbringing and personal values. .
As the late American actor Fred Astaire said: “The hardest job children face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” If we want to see a significant improvement in our society, adults need to start cultivating good social habits in children through example and make manners a priority in schools, at workplaces and in public. .
Maybe even the media could produce drama serials depicting good and bad manners to drive home the message. .
People often joke that Singapore is a “fine” city. I hope we do not have to resort to slapping fines on rude behaviour, like we do with littering, to see results. After all, some people may consider rudeness a social crime. .
Essentially, everyone needs to work on it. A society without grace is a society without soul.
http://www.todayonline.com/articles/307464.asp
过来澳洲已经快一个礼拜了，可是还没完全的适应。这次回来的心情跟以往的前几次很不一样。前几次的心情是期待，盼望。可是这次却是沉重，忧愁。也许呆在新加坡太久了，准准111天。赶来赶去，有点累。可是为了要吃饭，没办法要找工。虽然有父母的助学金，可是活的那么大了还依靠他们，有点不好意思。回到这里就没得有“爱怎样就怎样”的态度。想出去就出去，想吃东西就去买，想买什么就买什么。根本没顾虑到什么。真的有点想念。。。睡不觉。不知将来会怎样。想找工，工却不找我
