Are Singaporeans really as gracious as survey suggests?

Letter from Subana Hall

IT IS interesting that 90 per cent of Singa-poreans feel that Singapore is a rather gracious society (“Gracious, really?”, March 12), according to the recent survey by the Singapore Kindness Movement (SKM).

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However, with the survey’s sample size of 502 out of the more than 4.5 million people living in Singapore, the finding may not be a true reflection of the views held by the rest of the population. There may also be biasness in the way the survey was conducted because it wasn’t tested in real-life situations.

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In 2006, Reader’s Digest conducted a Global Courtesy survey and the findings stood in contrast to the SKM survey.

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They sent undercover reporters posing real-life situations to see how people in 36 cities responded and Singapore came in 31st. Residents of New York and Switzerland took the top spots as being the most polite.

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Nine out of 10 Singaporeans may think that the society has sufficient grace, but do they really? If this is so, why the endless public outcry and discontent over the culture of reserving seats, the loud slurping of noodles like a vacuum machine, the appalling road ethics of drivers, the slamming of doors into people’s faces or the mad rush to swipe cards at the train station?

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Of course there are many polite people in Singapore, like the lady who served me at an NTUC supermarket last weekend. She was so concerned that I had a basketful of heavy items that she kept asking if I was going to be able to manage on my own; she even put my items in fewer bags so that it would be easier for me to carry the bags to the car. That is graciousness that I value.

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Sadly, most people I have spoken to say not a day passes by without encounters with a number of annoyingly rude people. Every society has ill-mannered people. However, Singapore may just have more than its fair share for just a small nation.

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We often find ourselves saying that we are caught in a rat race and therefore our rudeness is unintentional. Being in a hurry or living in a fast-paced society can never be an excuse for poor behaviour.

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I have learned through experience that good manners has little correlation with education, wealth, ethnicity, urbanisation or even age. It has to do with a person’s upbringing and personal values.

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As the late American actor Fred Astaire said: “The hardest job children face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” If we want to see a significant improvement in our society, adults need to start cultivating good social habits in children through example and make manners a priority in schools, at workplaces and in public.

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Maybe even the media could produce drama serials depicting good and bad manners to drive home the message.

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People often joke that Singapore is a “fine” city. I hope we do not have to resort to slapping fines on rude behaviour, like we do with littering, to see results. After all, some people may consider rudeness a social crime.

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Essentially, everyone needs to work on it. A society without grace is a society without soul.


http://www.todayonline.com/articles/307464.asp