Courtesy begins on the train — just ask the Japanese

Letter from Lewis Ho

I REFER to the report on graciousness in Singapore.

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We have no details of how the survey was conducted. Therefore, I assume the survey was done via a random “off-the-street” method which is highly unrepresentative. Personally, I have doubts over the validity of the results. I always think a good survey needs a focus group or groups with a wide range of “people in the know” compared to picking someone on the street without knowing the person’s background and profile.

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Singaporeans in general are far from gracious. People here focus on themselves and do not think too much about the people around them. There is a mentality that “I have the right to do what I want as long as I do not break the law or hurt someone”. The focus on the right to express ourselves takes priority over everything else.

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This is clearly exhibited by the way we behave in places like on MRT trains, where people talk on their mobile phones loud enough for others to be disturbed, or hug and kiss each other right in front of you.

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I believe Singaporeans have a lot to learn from the Japanese. Enter any train in Japan and you’ll see that no one talks on their mobile phones (which are always in silent mode), and if really necessary, they do it in hushed tones and keep their conversations short. I actually saw a Japanese colleague getting out of the train just to make a call; he hops onto the next train when he is done.

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Singaporeans, however, seem to engage in phone conversations over the most mundane topics and only stop chatting when the train is underground and they cannot receive a signal.

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I do not know if the Japanese are gracious in a private setting. However, I admire the effort they put in to appear gracious in a public setting. I am sure this takes years of self-discipline to accomplish, such that it becomes almost second nature to them.

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Many Singaporeans love to travel. But most Singaporeans travel in groups — either with their family or friends. In such situations, there is very little interaction with the local culture. A lot of time is spent together and people tend to exhibit to normal Singaporean behaviour.

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Those who travel alone on business and work assignments are quick to notice the big gap in graciousness.

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I can see all the characteristics of bad Singaporean behaviour in myself and admit I have ungracious occasionally. However, I constantly work toward improving my behaviour.

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I think it is worth learning such values because graciousness will make Singapore a nicer place to live in.

http://www.todayonline.com/articles/307465.asp